


Starlight

by GreenOnyx



Category: Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, Star Wars: Leia Princess of Alderaan
Genre: F/F, TLJ Spoilers, crossover with concepts from battlestar galactica, force ghost amilyn, leia princess of alderaan spoilers probably, maybe others as it goes on, not actually in any way a crossover though, wlw in space
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-02
Updated: 2018-02-21
Packaged: 2019-03-12 12:18:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13547169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GreenOnyx/pseuds/GreenOnyx
Summary: Aboard the Millennium Falcon after the escape from Crait, the last of the Resistance regroup and rest before undertaking the monumental task of rebuilding the movement. The General is visited by a manifestation of her recently deceased lover.





	1. Chapter 1

Leia watched the rest of the crew rest and talk and celebrate their escape. Mourning would come upon each of them in its own time. It came upon her the moment she’d been left alone with her thoughts. Her first thought was the same one that she always had after anything important happened (and today had been more important than any day in a long while): she wanted to talk about it with Amilyn. She was sad to have lost Luke, sad, but used to it. She’d been without him for so many years, and now at least she knew he was at peace, so unlike the way he’d been since he left. In that respect, she was happy. She’d only ever wanted him to stop blaming himself. But when everything came rushing back to her once the battle was over, once all of the urgent situations she’d been in for the past several days had finally come to a stop (however temporary) and she remembered that Amilyn was gone, she felt as if her insides were made of heavy stone. Wobbling slightly in her exhaustion, but supported by her cane, she stood and made her way back to the actual crew quarters where it seemed no one else had retired to yet. She closed the door to the darkened room behind her. She walked to the bed alcove, intending to sit again, but found herself just leaning on her cane and weeping into one hand.

“You have to know I’d never leave you.” Amilyn’s voice floated from behind her, in all of its even-toned familiarity. Leia swirled around faster than she should have. She toppled over backward into a seated position on the bed. Amilyn laughed, her hands covering her heart in a show of affection for the mess Leia knew she must be at the moment. Amilyn was anything but a mess, she was resplendent. Her hair hung around her shoulders, deep blue and sparkling. The dress she wore was the same; deep blue and sparkling with crystals that shone like stars.  
“Amilyn” Leia marveled ”How?” she queried as she reached her hand out for Amilyn’s.  
Amilyn knew the questions Leia was asking: ‘how did you get off the Raddus? How did you survive? How did Rey find you? How are you on the Falcon?’ Amilyn stepped forward, taking Leia’s hand in both of hers just the way she did when she’d said goodbye, she assumed, forever. She smiled sadly and shook her head.  
“I didn’t. I was aboard the ship when it made the jump. I did die, Leia.” Leia looked at her with a face that could hardly cope with the emotions and the confusion swirling behind it. Amilyn raised Leia’s hand to her lips and kissed it tenderly. She knew that Leia knew, or if she didn’t, she would work it out quickly (at least as much as Amilyn knew herself) how they were connecting right now.

Leia’s voice came watery and quiet when she spoke. “You died.” Were the only words she said. Again, they both knew the implied meaning. Amilyn held Leia’s hand to her cheek as she replied “Any imbalance we carry within us, we carry into the sky”. Leia was used to that saying, she knew it, but she hadn’t heard Amilyn say it in years. It was her periodic reminder to Leia to cleanse herself of doubt before skyfaring, and then later, during the rebellion against the Empire, a reminder of the same before she flew away to complete dangerous missions. It took her a moment longer to work out what Amilyn meant by it here. Amilyn sat down and wrapped her arms around Leia. She pressed another tender kiss to Leia’s forehead and continued explaining. “The balance of the force has been altered in so many ways, so many times, in such a short period, all around us, because of this fight that has become inextricable from our lives…” Leia looked up into Amilyn’s eyes, she saw they were shining with tears, the same as her own “…and I realized …when I flew into the sky …I wasn’t ready …I thought I was ready to die, but I wasn’t ready to go where you weren’t.”

They were interrupted when the door to the room suddenly opened. Poe stepped in and Amilyn was suddenly gone. “General, do we have a destination? Chewie’s asking. Well at least that’s what Rey says. We should exit hyperspace near Felucia, but I doubt we’ll find much help there. Rey says we’re fueled up enough for one more jump after that. We gotta find somewhere to… to…” Poe sat down next to her where Amilyn had just been and slumped with his face in his hands” “…do something.” He sounded as tired and near defeat as she felt. She could hear the guilt he was trying to cover up. Part of her wanted to take it away from him, save him from his grief and his shame, but much more of her knew it was necessary. He would never grow into the leader he needed to be if he didn’t feel the sting of every life his decisions affected-every life they ended. She knew by now (because Finn is chatty when he’s excited) that Poe’s plan, and especially Poe’s carelessness with information had directly contributed to the loss of life aboard the resistance’s escape pods. Amilyn spoke up from across the room, looking at Poe with eyes full of sadness and pity. “Felucia was my third favorite pathfinding lesson" she began, seemingly wandering down a disjointed path of thought "It would’ve been fourth, but I had to move Chandrila down one because you came much closer to death on Chandrila than you did on Felucia.” Leia looked intently at Poe for any sign that he had heard her. He hadn’t. Only Leia could hear Amilyn. In that case, she figured Amilyn would understand if she didn’t respond; the intrinsic insanity of that thought not being lost on Leia. “My favorite was Pamarthe.” Amilyn now smiled at Leia. Pamarthe was where their joint effort in the Rebellion had begun. Leia smiled at her as she remembered the struggle of pathfinding on Pamarthe, the bridges, the sea, the bustle of people from ship to ship  
“Ships. Pilots. Pamarthe is near enough to Felucia isn’t it, Captain?” Leia asked rhetorically. Pamarthe was a bustling interplanetary port and a planet known both to produce highly skilled pilots and to oppose the Empire and its remnant factions.  
Poe raised his head and looked at her with hope in his eyes once again.  
“Yeah… yeah it is! General, you’re a genius.” He was out of the door and on to pass on the destination to Chewie and Rey in an instant.

Amilyn smiled proudly at Leia “I worried about your judgment" Amilyn admitted, gesturing to Poe while door closed behind him. Leia threw an admonishing look at the beautiful apparition across the room “Oh don’t worry, General.” Amilyn reassured her in mock deference “not for long.” She giggled and Leia smiled tiredly. Amilyn crossed the room to Leia once again “Its hours to Felucia" she sat and leaned back against the curve of the bed alcove and patted the cushion next to her. Had she been at her full mental capacity it would’ve occurred to Leia to worry that when she woke up, Amilyn would be gone, but she couldn’t think past her ever growing exhaustion. Leia was confused. She was lost. She was levitating in the air between devastation and elation. She set aside her cloak and her cane and lay next to Amilyn, resting her head on her chest and drifting almost instantly into sleep.


	2. Just Us...and Him

Leia was awakened by the jolt of the drop out of hyperspace. She went straight to the cockpit. Poe was flying while Rey and Chewie finally took a rest. Seeing Poe at the controls in Han’s old seat felt somehow right. She would never stop hurting for the loss of Ben, but she was, not for the first time, wondering if the force had intentionally (insofar as the force has intent) brought her Poe in his place. She sat in the co-pilot’s seat.

“We have to find a way to get a ship. Is there anything we can trade on this antique”Poe asked.

“If there is, I’d be surprised if it were enough to get us as much as a speeder. Luckily for us…” She opened her hand to reveal a small rectangular crystalline bank key “The resistance’s funds aren’t as depleted as its personnel.”

Poe looked happily shocked. “Where were you hiding that?”

“Best if I don’t tell you.” Poe shook his head, laughing. Leia smiled. She’d hidden it in a secret compartment in one of her rings, but, since it was genuinely better to keep it as secret as possible, she let the joke stand. “Did you get any sleep?”

“A couple hours… collectively” He said it like someone who felt he didn’t deserve even that.

Once they were closer to Pamarthe, only two or three hours out everyone gathered to make a plan. First, they would need to stop on one of the large southern islands so Leia could acquire credit solids, allowances for the crew to split up and get supplies and to get them around on their various planned stops on the planet in search of new recruits. She and Poe would then go in search of a ship. They’d need one that could hold more people, and ideally one that could hide the all too recognizable Falcon in a hangar bay.

 

In the refresher, tidying up her appearance, Leia had a sudden feeling she wasn’t alone. She looked up to see Amilyn’s reflection next to hers. She turned around, hoping and wishing to find her still there. She did. Amilyn stepped closer and took Leia’s face in her hands. She leaned in and kissed her. Leia leaned into it, not knowing how it worked (how she was feeling Amilyn’s body here with hers when the body she’d known didn’t exist anymore) not completely caring. “Why did you disappear” she asked against Amilyn’s lips before kissing her again. “I don’t know much more than you do” Amilyn offered before peppering Leia’s neck with kisses “I’m just enjoying the perks” There was a knock on the door and a voice announcing ten minutes to planet fall. Amilyn was gone again. Leia wondered if this were just her losing her grip on reality. Maybe she’d finally had too much and she was cracking. She supposed time would tell.

On the island, credit solids were acquired and distributed easily enough. One of the many handy things about obscure, discreet, interplanetary banks was that taking out your money in large sums and questionable ways went wonderfully unquestioned. The group split up to see to respective tasks, that meant Poe and Leia seeking out an arms dealer who had supplied the resistance in the past. ”He is not a man with strong principals, but he is a man who sells ships with guns.”

“What’s his deal?”

“His name is Daht Seph, He considers himself a philanthropist of sorts, stealing ships from the rich and selling them to slightly less rich. He’s just your average crook. Most of his ships are stolen, but they’re nigh untraceable.”

“Sounds perfect.”

At the shipyard they didn’t find Daht Seph. “I’m afraid my older brother is no longer with us” explained a tall greying but distinguished looking man who looked like Daht, but dressed far better than Leia had ever seen Daht do and smiled in a way that could only be described as greasy “My name is Gof, Gof Seph at your service. I assume you still need a ship. Don’t you?”

“Yes we do” Leia conceded. She and Poe exchanged a look that clarified to each of them that neither liked the look of Gof.

“You and your young man are in luck” Gof oozed, clearly indicating what sort of relationship he believed existed between Leia and Poe.

“Your young man is he?” Amilyn drawled through a sarcastic smile that Leia could hear so clearly she didn’t even need to see it. While Goff was telling them about the new arrivals and just why they were lucky Amilyn slid her arms under Leia’s and wrapped them around her waist “You do have an upsetting habit of leaving me behind for dashing surly flyboys”

“Just the one” Leia said, appearing to reply Gof Seph’s offer of a modestly priced fleet of passenger ships. Amilyn giggled and kissed her on the cheek before disappearing again. Gof led them through the door to the sales floor. Poe backed up and held his hands out in an over exaggerated polite gesture toward the door.

“My lady first” he offered in a gallant voice.

Leia smirked at him. Insufferable as he could be, she didn’t know what she’d do without him. Gof led them to several ships that were either too small, too big, or too expensive for their needs. Finally they made their way to a passenger ship very like the one Leia had grown up riding in, the same one she had brought with her into the resistance. “It’s a late model Corvette, the TR-22. Passenger capacity of over 200, and the previous owner-shall we say… had adamant business rivals… it’s been retrofitted with shield generators and both front and rear 360 degree canons. No need to worry about being mistaken for the previous owner however, this ship was acquired as part of a deceased estate, and anyway it’s been refinished” Gof kept talking, but Leia and Poe were sold already. It was perfect.

“Halaxian Opal” Amilyn mused, raising her hands to run them over the underbelly of the ship, tracing her fingertips over the edges of one of its engine access panels with her trademark misty, faraway look “is said to be the most beautiful stone in the galaxy.” _*Here we go*_ Leia thought “it flashes smooth brilliant rainbows of color from every side…and it’s quite rare” Leia wished she’d get to the point. She couldn’t keep track of what Poe and the merchant were saying right next to her with Amilyn airily musing about opals a few feet away. She certainly couldn’t ask Amilyn to get on with it-not in front of people, not in front of Poe. “But you have to be careful to make sure it’s not Canperian opal. You see Canperian opal is quite brittle, impossible to set because it just cracks. You can tell them apart because Canperian opal flashes the same smooth, brilliant rainbows from every side… except the bottom.” Leia looked into Amilyn’s eyes, suddenly getting her point. Amilyn disappeared and Leia wished she’d stop doing that too.

“I’d like to see what’s behind that panel there.” Leia interjected, pointing where Amilyn had just been.

“It’s all very technical in there, I’ll have my mechanic come and explain it to you. No need to bother with time consuming bolts and such, not for a lady such as yourself. He’ll tell you everything you want to know about the propulsion system.” The merchant assured her. Leia looked at Poe, communicating wordlessly how the rest of this deal was-or rather wasn’t going to go. Poe’s optimism began to drain from his face. He was so excited to have found them a potential ship, but he could see that Leia would need more convincing. It was too good a model to pass up, too good… too good… it really was too good a model at slightly too good a price.

“My friend and I really do need to see the inner works.” He put his arm around Gof Seph like they’d been friends for years “I’m sure it’s nothing, but she gets these hunches… you understand.” His tone was casual and trusting, two things he couldn’t afford to feel genuinely right now. He dropped the volume of his voice “Listen, I’m not about to let us pass up a deal this good, but she gets a little paranoid, just humor her and we’ll be out of here with this corvette all the sooner.” He feigned looking around at Leia who was now standing farther from the ship before he whispered to Gof Seph “Look, if we’re being perfectly honest she doesn’t know what any of it is, she doesn’t know a motivator from a regulator, and me, buddy, I’m no mechanic, I just wanna fly this thing. Your reputation is on the line with every ship you sell, so if you tell me its good, buddy, I'm gonna trust you.” Gof Seph gave Poe a smile and a wink and yelled at one of his mechanics to come open the hatch. The mechanic had a distinctly doubtful look on his face that Poe pretended not to see.

While the reluctant mechanic took his time opening the hatch Amilyn was standing next to Leia, contemplating the corvette while she talked. “It’s funny that there are only two stories I know about terrestrial Halax and Mr. Seph makes me think of both of them.” Leia raised a a questioning eyebrow at Amilyn (or her vivid hallucination of Amilyn, whichever she turned out to be). “There’s a story about a book in the ancient times, a book said to hold the secrets of eternal youth and endless wealth. It was the property of a greedy and jealous deity called Hyeros. Hyeros would hold tournaments among mortals. Young brave warriors from only the most distinguished families on Halax would fight to the death to win the great prize of the book of youth and wealth. But everyone who won the book fell on horrible misfortune and died soon after. When Hyeros went to retrieve the book, every time, the champions would argue that they’d fought and they’d won it. But Hyeros never said how long they got to keep the book, and he considered it ultimately his… and when they tried to fight him” The panel opened to reveal, plain as day, a blinking homing beacon stuck to the hyperdrive casing “they always fell for his tricks, and they inevitably died.” She looked at Leia “But you’re not an acient Halaxian, and Gof is certainly no deity.”

Poe and Leia didn’t even need to exchange a look this time. This ship was exactly what they needed, but it was fitted with a tracker. Leia would have been willing to bet that most of Gof’s customers found themselves in the clutches of ‘anonymous hijackers’ not long after leaving the atmosphere, and that Gof’s profit margin after selling the same ship again and again was through the roof. The tracker should be easy enough to remove, and they could have R2 and BB8 scan for anymore tracking devices once they were off the lot. It was a risk Leia hated to take, but in their current predicament, it seemed riskier to count on another ship suited to their needs turning up.

Poe sauntered up and swung an arm around her shoulders. With a condescending cheery voice he declared “See, honey? Everything’s all ah-“ he waved his hand vaguely at the inside of the Corvette “lights and wires, just like it should be.”

“I suppose you’re right. I don’t know what I was expecting to see.” She laughed and leaned into Poe, playing the part of a silly rich old woman acquiescing to her trophy lover’s whims.

“Yeah you got this uh, these…cylinders. In great shape.” He gave a thumbs up to the mechanic “and that… monitor there, making sure everything’s alright, just blinking” he was squatting down to make himself eye level with Leia and making an absurd blinking gesture with his hand “blinking away, telling us everything’s alright. We’ll have the boys look at it back on Corellia and make sure everything’s still alright. And in the mean time” his face was making a transition to joyful anticipation. Leia was going to have to slap him again when they were alone, she felt it coming “You know what I’m gonna say” he taunted “come on, you know what I’m gonna say” Leia was trying her best to appear flirted with. She didn’t actually know what he was going to say. Thank the force he got on with saying it “Cantonica! Canto Bight! Come on, honey, get us this souped up gun ship and let me go win back every credit for you, I’ll make it up to you I swear!” His hands were pressed together in mock prayer.

“He’s too good at this” Amilyn assessed

“Oh alright. But you’ll have to dance with me this time” she held up a finger in his face as if to reprimand him for not dancing with her last time. “Yes!” He thrust a fist in the air. Poe then pretended to be a clueless man pretending be a smug know it all while he chatted with the mechanic and Leia completed the transaction. As Leia and Poe were boarding their new used TR-22 Leia heard Gof tell Poe he was a lucky man in a way that made her skin crawl.

Once they were alone, in the cockpit, and flying off to the the dock island where they’d find the Falcon, Poe asked “What do you wanna bet we open this thing up and find control overrides clamped onto it?”

“Well, apparently I’m in the business of betting everything these days” Leia sighed.


	3. This Time Just Us

The ship was fully furnished and had an array of guest rooms, crew quarters, kitchens, two dining rooms, a conference room, and several leisure spaces. It had a small docking bay, just big enough for the falcon and a few small transports or no falcon and several light craft. All of it was usable space even if it would have to be rearranged or refurnished and fitted with tactical equipment. Leia had gathered everyone in the conference room so that they could regroup and inform one another (as well a few new recruits) as to their current situation.

Rose, Rey, and Chewie had overseen the inspection of the ship and the removal of all of Seph’s tracking devices and traps. There had been a control clamp just like Poe had guessed, and it had been successfully removed along with the tracking device. Leia heard one of the Pamarthen recruits say to his neighbor “That greasy crook doesn’t deserve the Seph name. Daht must be turning in his grave.” his neighbor (another new recruit) nodded in agreement. Leia made a mental note to have Poe ask them if they knew another seller on Pamarthe who could be trusted to sell them clean light fighters and transports. Handheld weaponry was easy enough to come by, but they’d need a specialist arms dealer for fighter planes.

There were more introductions and announcements: six pilots and four general volunteers joined up, food was acquired and a deal for a few crates of guns had been made (just enough to get a small armory started). Leia stood up to make a few brief announcements of her own, she’d save any kind of truly rousing speech for a little further down the road. She welcomed the new recruits, she thanked her people for their commitment and their perseverance, she reminded them (maybe needlessly) that she knew they were all tired, and they were all in mourning, and they were all still here to fight for the light, and that she would never stop appreciating that. She made the effort not to look at Amilyn who was standing behind some of the new recruits, she was in a dark grey gown today, her hair now light blue like a mid morning sky. She told them that things were in a state of flux and would be changing all around them for quite a while as they worked to rebuild the resistance. “Don’t get used to being comfortable, as time goes on, if things go at all well, we’ll be replacing all the beds with bunks and generally making the place less pleasant. For right now though... I think we’ve earned a good night’s rest in a big soft bed. Lieutenant Connix has your room assignments, enjoy the privacy while it lasts.” She ended with a bit of levity, and they seemed to appreciate it. The meeting finished and Connix led everyone to their quarters on the upper floor while the core few stayed behind at Leia’s request, to further strategize.

As soon as everyone was distracted in the jostle to clear the room Amilyn ran her hands down Leia’s arms and rested her chin on Leia’s shoulder “how nice it will be to have a bed... some privacy...” she pressed a hot, open mouthed kiss to Leia’s neck. Leia’s eyes closed and she sighed at the sensation, forgetting where she was for just a moment.  
“Everything okay, General?” Finn whispered to her while everyone else took their places around the conference table. Leia opened her eyes and stood straight.  
“All things considered...” she shrugged and took her seat at the head of the table. Finn was left a little lost and vaguely worried, but he played it off like he always did and in a pretense of cool, took his own seat. The group began brainstorming about funding. The money would run out if they didn’t find a way to let the resistance’s extant patrons know they were still here and still fighting. Conversely, the money might run out anyway. Their previous supporters might feel it isn’t worth it anymore or they might simply be unable to contribute further. The group decided on an expedition to rally support, especially the financial variety. Chewie could get Rey in touch with some of Han’s old contacts, hopefully there were a few left that remembered him fondly enough to deal with Chewie and Rey and get them a deal the resistance could afford on some necessary equipment. Poe volunteered to accompany them, but Leia worried he’d remind people too much of Han, and that may be too much of a good thing. She didn’t need these seedy underbelly types to decide to take out an old grudge on her best pilot. A good thief was much more fondly remembered than received. The next step was to decide where to start looking for high up support.

  
“Nobody wears the silver like she does” Amilyn mused from the other side of the table. She was reclining in the large swivel chair at the other end and staring at nothing while she seemed to talk to herself. Leia looked up at Amilyn and noticed Rey looking in her direction as well. Then Rey seemed to find something else more interesting than an empty chair and stared intently at the wall across from her as if suddenly deep in thought.  
“and now it probably matches her hair.” Amilyn’s eyes softened and she smiled fondly “but nobody wore red like she did”. Rey began squinting her eyes, and looking very distracted. Leia glanced at the wall to see what she may be looking at, but saw nothing. Maybe Leia wasn’t the only one going crazy. Red? Who was Amilyn talking about? Then Leia pieced it together. Of course. She was officially retired from interplanetary politics, but Mon Mothma was still about as influential as a person could be.

  
“Chandrila. It’s probably next on the first order’s blacklist, but we may be able to find support there. We need to spread the word of the first order’s losses. They don’t have anymore planet killing weapons, at least not completed, and we need to let people know we did that. For now, they’re leaderless-Snoke is dead and The First Order is disarmed. People need to believe the fight isn’t lost.” The meeting concluded with several concrete plans and a course set for Chandrila.

Rey was giving Leia a very serious questioning look as the meeting dispersed. Leia told her with a look that she was available to talk. As soon as they were alone Rey began to try to ask her question.

  
“The force...” she began, holding her hands up in front of her as if holding an invisible item representing the force

  
“Yes?” Leia provided, hoping to coax her question out of her. If Leia knew the answer she would absolutely give it.

  
“...is it... I... Snoke”  
Leia nodded, unsure of how to help so far. Rey dropped her voice and adopted a tone tinged with apology “when I was on Ach-To... he bridged my mind with Kylo Ren’s”

The sound of the name made Leia’s heart ache. She was instantly buzzing with questions about Ben. As much as she had for all practical intents and purposes given up hope that her son would come back to her, her heart couldn’t stop wishing, couldn’t stop believing that she might get to see him again... hold him again. Rey continued

“I could see him as plainly as if he were standing in front of me... I could touch him even though we were on different planets... I still can... I think... I did on Crait... but now”

  
“Yes?” There was much more interest and intent in the word this time.

  
“There’s a woman... there’s this woman I keep getting glances of... I don’t know who she is-or where she is... it doesn’t feel the same as Kylo... I can’t see her clearly, I can only catch glimpses of her just at the corner of my vision, but she’s there. Sometimes it’s like I can hear her talking, but I can’t really... it’s just nonsense”  
Leia was ecstatic that she wasn’t losing her mind, Amilyn was really there, the force had reconnected them, she was real. Rey, seeing the relief and the smile on Leia’s face, seemed unsure if she should be relieved herself.  
“Do you see her now?” Leia asked.  
“She’s in that chair” Rey jerked her head toward Amilyn who was watching the with pursed lips and one raised eyebrow.

  
“Nonsense?” Amilyn repeated “I see this is how resistance heroes are treated now”

Leia was glad Amilyn had brought her sarcasm into the afterlife.

  
“Resistance Heroes?” Rey asked, squinting her eyes at the wall again.

  
“So you can hear her?” Leia inquired.

  
“Sometimes... but it’s always just fragments”

  
“That’s just how she talks”

  
“You can see her too? You know she is? Where she is?”

  
“I can see her alright. And touch her-”

  
“Luckily for me” Amilyn smirked. Rey’s eyes widened. “Oops” Amilyn said, still smirking. Leia shot her a look. “I can’t brag even in the afterlife?”  
Leia ignored that and turned back to Rey.

  
“I can’t control it, and I don’t know how it works, but from what you’re saying, it sounds very similar. Except that you can see her too... and that she’s...”

  
“Dead” Amilyn said cheerily.  
Rey’s face dropped.

“She’s Dead? Who is she? Are you sure?”

  
“Amilyn Holdo. The w-“Leia began

  
“The woman who saved the resistance” Rey finished Leia’s sentence.

  
“One of many” Amilyn added, more solemnly.

  
“I only know that she and I can still connect somehow, and I assume that’s because we’ve been so closely connected...” Leia looked at Amilyn “...forever”

  
“But Han-“ Rey stopped herself. She looked embarrassed to have said anything. Amilyn smiled sadly at her from across the room.

  
“But Han” Amilyn repeated sardonically.

Leia felt compelled to be open with Rey  
“Not quite so intimately connected the whole time, not until after Han and I fell apart. But she’s been my dearest friend since I was a girl. We joined the rebellion together” Leia couldn’t help but smile at Amilyn. Rey looked both comforted and apologetic. “Why don’t you come talk to me tonight after we’ve eaten? I hear I’ve been assigned to the room at the end of the hall.”

—-  
Leia stood in the center of the room the crew had decided she should have and drank it in. Whoever owned this ship had incredible taste. It reminded her of home. Of Alderaan. The floor had been covered with polished wood and adorned with plush rugs. A large wooden table and a desk sat in the spacious anteroom which was furnished to be a study. There were old paper books on a shelf. A fireplace (which was actually just a stylized heater with a hearth and dedicated flame holo-projection) adorned the wall under the bookshelf. The bedroom and lavatory were just as lush, decorated in dark wood and fine fabrics. It reminded Leia of her father’s study in the palace. Amilyn picked one of the paper books off the shelf.  
“This is Gatalentan poetry...” she commented almost in disbelief. She flicked through the ancient book with delicate hands “this is the good stuff too... the classics... you know, on Gatalenta, printing paper books is still very popular. People feel it preserves the soul of a poem, provides a tactile physicality to the word when written or read, grounds the reader in the concept or emotion...” she trailed off as she read silently.  
“As much as you rebelled against Gatalentan culture, I think you love it more than most” Leia added, watching Amilyn and feeling very in love. Amilyn looked up at Leia and cocked her eyebrow. Leia smiled. Amilyn sauntered toward Leia and began to recite the poem she was reading.  
“Hide me in your arms  
just for this night.  
While the rain breaks  
against sea and stone  
its innumerable mouth” her voice was quiet and intense. When Amilyn read poetry she understood it in a way most people took great care to seem like they did.  
“Listen how the wind  
calls to me galloping  
To take me far away.”  
She was close to Leia now, having closed the space between them without looking up from her poem. She gently held the back of Leia’s neck while she lowered her face to Leia’s, enacting the poem now as she spoke it  
“With your brow on my brow  
with your mouth” she whispered against Leia’s lips “on my mouth” she kissed her softly “our bodies tied  
to the love that consumes us,  
let the wind pass  
and not take me away”  
Leia was pulled into a kiss like only Amilyn could give. Her touch was delicate and at times, barely there, yet Leia always felt completely overpowered by it.

They made their way to the bedroom and Amilyn undressed Leia swiftly and gracefully. Leia pulled Amilyn’s gown up to her hips and pressed her to the side of the taller than necessary bed. Amilyn sat easily on the edge and Leia stood between her legs, pressed to her body and locked in a kiss. Leia’s own clothes lay in a pile behind her as she pulled Amilyn’s gown down off her shoulders and began kissing her bared chest. Amilyn held Leia’s face in her hands and pressed adoring kisses to the top of her head while Leia covered her with kisses of her own.

Amilyn carefully began to unpin Leia’s hair, unraveling each lock and combing her fingers gently through it before letting it fall and moving to the next. Leia now rested her cheek over Amilyn’s heart. She wrapped her arms around Amilyn and began to cry. Once she let her tears begin to flow, stopping them felt impossible. She had held so much inside her for so long. She had been run ragged and only now did she realize how close she felt to edge of her sanity. Amilyn continued meticulously to unpin and run her fingers through every last lock of Leia’s hair. She continued combing her fingers through the greying tresses and kissing Leia’s head while she cradled her close.

A few minutes later they were under the covers in much the same position. Leia was draped over Amilyn, her face on Amilyn’s chest, the two of them now totally bare. The intimacy of Amilyn’s touch, the tender way she cared for Leia was just what Leia needed. There was always a part of her mind that could not stop questioning how this was happening. How could she feel Amilyn? How could Amilyn move things? How could she know things that were hidden? Somehow all of these questions felt unimportant though, the same way the ancients didn’t question how the planets and suns in the galaxy all circled one another without crashing into each other Leia didn’t question how Amilyn remained present in her life-afraid that asking could bring the whole thing crashing down.

“She talked to Ben” Leia breathed. Amilyn held her tighter. “I know I shouldn’t hope... I know he’s gone...” she raised her head to look at Amilyn “but she saw him the way I see you. That has to mean something.”  
“Snoke connected them, Leia. He had the power and the skill to manipulate the force to that degree at will. You and I couldn’t have done this if we’d tried” she kissed Leia “you’ll find out more when she comes to talk to you...” they shared another kiss “until then...” Amilyn didn’t need to finish. Leia knew. She knew better than to give in like that. She did know. She knew Ben was gone. That didn’t stop her heart pining.

Leia decided not to go to supper with the others. She asked Threepio to bring her a tray when supper time came instead (another luxury she couldn’t allow herself to get used to, but she certainly wasn’t going to waste the opportunity to indulge while she had it). She spent the afternoon in bed with Amilyn. There was nothing for her to see to on the ship’s small compromise between a bridge and a cockpit. They were on an indirect course to Chandrila, stopping at another port planet first as an extra precautionary measure against being followed, so they wouldn’t arrive at their destination for almost 24 hours. Leia wanted to spend as much of that time as possible with Amilyn. They lay in bed naked and held hands and reminisced and laughed for hours. They made love tenderly and then they made love passionately. Amilyn was every color of the spectrum and Leia was her light, revealing her and making her glow. This was what the fight was for: freedom and love and long afternoons of passion. The fight was for so many things, but today Amilyn reminded Leia that she was allowed to experience these things, not just fight for others to have them. Today she felt renewed. Today she drank her fill of love and of joy. With the warmth of her surrounding and the rainbow of happiness Amilyn shone into her, Leia, for just a few hours, forgot she was at war. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *the poem Amilyn recites is an adapted excerpt of Pablo Neruda’s “Wind On The Island”

**Author's Note:**

> If force ghost/#6 Amilyn has theme music when she manifests it's Sibelius 6 Impromptus, Op.5: Impromptu V played by Leif Ove Andsnes


End file.
